#196: Brontez Purnell
Brontez Purnell on Straight Boys, Testosterone, Tarot Readings, and more.
Cool people like cool things, which is why we asked Brontez Purnell to share a taste of his taste on Perfectly Imperfect.
Brontez Purnell is a musician, LGBTQ activist, performance artist, writer, dancer, and filmmaker based in Oakland, CA. He’s a bonafide legend in the Bay Area (and beyond) for his punk band The Young Lovers, cult zine Fag School, experimental dance group the Brontez Purnell Dance Company, and highly acclaimed book Since I Laid My Burden Down. The New York Times Style Magazine called him one of the 32 Black Male Writers for Our Time and his most recent novel, 100 Boyfriends, is a collection of 1st and 3rd person short stories that explore love and sex. Purnell’s 2020 punk EP White Boy Music is also one of my favorites from the last few years. Brontez is cool as hell and lucky for us, he’s here to share a taste of his taste.
Without further ado
Brontez Purnell (instagram)
I , like so many men that never truly “hit” puberty (or inversely never had my ass beat by it) now at the age of 40 have to shoot up testosterone - to retain my “juj”. I keep waiting for my dick to get bigger or my voice to drop but I’m still a decent medium and my voice remains as fruity and musical as a cereal commercial- but something about shooting up shit that in an off hand makes me ripped makes me finally feel like - I dunno some wayward high school jock - even tho im 40- and routinely inactive. But as the saying goes “it’s not about how you LOOK, it’s about how you FEEL”
🔮 Tarot readings
I think we really WAY to heavily of therapy culture to soothe our emotional ow-ies and I just wish to god more you would admit that you actually LIKE feeling bad- its all you’ve ever known (or maybe I should Just speak for myself?) EITHER WAY- you therapist is SO SICK of you bitching - she probably makes fun of you to her friends while she’s drunk! And why shouldn’t she? You haven’t changed and you don’t want to- MAYBE instead of torturing your therapist you should just get a tarot reader- HEAR ME OUT- in a therapy session all you hear is the echo chamber of your bad decisions and poorly chosen company- in a tarot reading - you can bitch about all your problems and let a deck of cards decide how
To deal with them- like in scenario 2# you leave with at least a more discernible plan of action and remember the metaphor of tarot - “life comes at you as randomly as a deck of cards
🧂 Epsom salt
“I always thought my Grandparents were full of shit…then I turned 40”
🎸 Guitar tuner apps
There’s nothing more frightening than playing a rock show to literally ONE HUNDRED fans when all of a sudden a string pops - and you have to replace it and tune it- tuning a guitar on stage is like trying to bust a nut on camera - I.e. NOT SEXY. I like guitar tuner apps cause this way it looks like I’m just on stage checking my Instagram when REALLY I’m tuning my guitar- THAT WAY- people are lured into THINKING your just really a narcissist with ADHD but then you hit them with the fact that you were secretly paying attention to their needs the whole time- it’s a lovely sentiment
I punch holes in them and use them as cock rings - does anyone else do that?
I didn’t start smoking until I was 34- I was on tour in Europe with my band and like, ran out of weed and started chain smoking Marlboros - it was exciting . I figured starting to smoke that late in life was ultimately a win because I needed to put the breaks on this whole life thing in the first- I think 78 is probs the most reasonable age to die at- other wise yr just gonna be stuck in a nursing home with a bunch of squares who never made life threateningly poor decisions and that doesn’t sound fun AT ALL.
🧍♂️ Straight Boys
Gay men only wanna cry about being beat up as kids and theres only so much room I can hold for that . Sure, we tend to make better drug dealers but Anytime I need my stereo set up, a new drummer or bass player for my band, or like, fatherly advice from a father figure I haven’t already fucked- it’s always from a straight boy. I mean, all internalized homophobia asides let’s face it, straight boys are just better❤️
Follow Brontez on Instagram.
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