Cool people like cool things, which is why we asked Ruby McCollister to share a taste of her taste on Perfectly Imperfect.

Ruby McCollister is an Actress and Comedian based in New York City. You may know her from the beloved cult web series, Zhe Zhe, her role as “Millennial Girl” on Curb Your Enthusiasm, or the short, but hilarious, mailroom scene between her and Mark H. Rapaport (who plays Greg) in The Scary of Sixty-First. Ruby rocks and is super funny so you should make time to see her perform her one-woman show, “Tragedy”, at The Elysian Theater on May 16th, I know I’ll be there! Lucky for us, Ruby is here to tell us what she’s been into.

Without further ado

Ruby McCollister (instagram)

🥀 Rose Tinted Vaseline

When I was a kid there was this  Rosebud Lip and Hand Salve that seemed really really classy. It was in a vintage looking tin. While that rosebud salve is absolutely divine, some of its mystique has faded into the oblivion of my childhood. 

However,  Vaseline has now put out a rose flavored vaseline in a mini vaseline box. 

It smells deeply erotic.  And you have to plunge your finger into this rose flavor goop to apply directly onto your face. Sensuality!

  The rose fragrance is really well synthesized. It whisks you away to working class glamor like the 20s or something…. If you get it you get it- if you don’t you don’t!!!!!!

Some French guy once told me rose scented stuff smells like bathroom cleaner. He couldn’t be more wrong. Fragrance is classically one of the many French/ American divides. The fact is in America, we are overwhelmed with complicated fragrances for cleaning products, candles, and lip balms. Were inundated with Dr Pepper flavors , Coconut passion, Strawberry Attitudes… Vaseline is presupposing and imagining a land far far ago… where choices were specific, simple and deeply erotic.

🪐 Anne Ortlee’s Weekly Weather

Making money in this modern world is blessed and cursed. Between acting jobs I also am an astrologer. I believe every actress should somehow give back spiritually between jobs… whatever that means to them. In fact, there has been a history of actors and actresses doing astrology in their spare time Shelley Winters, Shirley McClaine (duh) and Andrew Garfield to name a few. (more on that another time… watch this space) 

As it is my day job to brush up on current transits, my go to podcast is Anne Ortlees Weekly Weather. 

Anne Ortlee is a legendary  New York Astrologer. Despite her icon status, she's unjaded, and sweet. She often pontificates on her ongoing battle to limit her pasta intake. Between what I would call “zaniness”, her translation of Astrology is spot on. You slip into her orbit and suddenly fantasize taking her to a pasta dinner uptown.

Once you start you can’t stop. And if you know you know. 

I usually listen every Sunday night while washing my hair and applying face oil in silence.

💋 Cheap Purses 

As one ages, (or like as the procreative urge intensifies,) the need for multiple purses becomes increasingly important. I don’t know exactly why, but it does. 

I once thought, like many things when I was younger, that I wasn’t a purse girl and I never would be. I thought you were a shoe girl or a purse girl. I didn’t realize you don’t have a choice, as you age, a line doesn’t get drawn… there's only one model… a woman who likes and needs both shoes AND purses. This seems callous but it's absolutely connected.

One needs an expensive, well made purse that sits on a shelf in a cloth bag  AND a shit crap fun inexpensive purse you can put down on the sidewalk, on a bar stool and wipe down with a clorox wipe. 

The urge for nice and bad, existing simultaneously, is a feminine urge that has to be indulged… I don’t know the consequences of repressing this instinct but I assume its really horrible. 

We must have wrappers, Pret a Manger napkins, absolute, actual garbage in bowling ball bag-ass looking purse. EVEN BETTER than a shitty purse is an exquisite purse from the past in a coveted model-like a car. 

TRULY I NEVER KNEW I’D BE LIKE THIS.

 We must have expensive shampoo and cheap soap.

A pricey candle and a pack of hanes underwear 

An heirloom lamp and something hastily bought from Wayfair. 

Its just the way it is. You must balance the high and low. 

This balance is essential to glamor and glamor is one of the only things left we can aspire to. True glamor is the victory over poverty and the foibles of wealth

In conclusion: that's why it's important to have expensive and cheap bags to chronically rotate in your closet.

🦹 Mod Makeup

My best friend and collaborator, Jake Levy, recently said when we were making a video together “Help me Im Mod” that mod makeup doesn’t suit a stressed out face. 

During the making of the video I, an actress, would pensively go over my movements between takes. Jake noticed that my actress behavior visually looked uniquely bizzare while I was made up like a Mod Girl. False eyelashes,that twiggy shit, liquid eyeliner on the lid crease etc.

In recent weeks since shooting that video I have wondered if this type of makeup would be a challenge to a bad mood. 

What if wearing mod makeup like Twiggy was an optimistic and faithful balm to remind us of kindness? Asking us to put on a happy face?  Well knowing if your face suddenly turned sour you would look like an absolute fool? Could this be a cornerstone of the next wave of faith?

🔮 Pret A Manger 

Pret a manger is a monumental touchstone of my acting career. 

This is a place I frequented between in person auditions midtown. 

Through the pandemic Pret a Manger  became a bygone memory. 

I believed I would never have a reason EVER EVER AGAIN to enter one, as the majority of auditions are no longer in person.

 However I’ve recently been going to one in person audition a week for this commercial casting company. And suddenly, by God’s intervention, I have returned to Pret. I have returned to the comforting working actress diet of half a sandwich and a seltzer.

 I rejoice in my homecoming back to Pret. It’s a testament to Miracle.

Follow Ruby on Instagram

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